Permanent heartache

Life is really short, trasure your loved ones before they are gone.

My godfather just passed away.

It happened so suddenly, we couldn't even see it coming. And it hit us like a bullet through our hearts. He left us with a wound that will never be healed. Aching whenever we enter his room or see his photo.

I've been away for so long, I never got to see him one last time when he was alive. I will never get the chance to fetch him to the market to buy groceries, I'll never be able to speak to him again. He never got to see me get married or even take graduation photos with me.

Why must he go? Why must he leave us so suddenly?

Life is so different without him, nothing will be the same.

We will love you and remember you always.

PMS-ing

I really hate it when THE PERIOD is coming, it gets me all emo, and my sleep pattern is screwed up.

I get really weird dreams at night, that make me wake up countless times during the night, and I end up waking up really late the next day. There's also the cramps even before its here,and on the first day its just so pain that I always have to take Panadol. SUCKS!

I get all emo over nothing, and I eat like a pig.

I even feel like crying.

Can the stupid thing just COME!!!!

HAPPY

I just saw something that put a HUGE SMILE on my face :D

Now I have some motivation for my upcoming assignments and tests.

Another 28 days before I get my little break.

Well it's more like a break from uni and home for work.

But I know I'll enjoy myself when I go back.

Daddy and Chantal's birthday celebrations when I'm back.

What gifts should I get???

Stupidity

I did the most stupid thing today.

I didn't pick up a $20 note from the sidewalk.

Criticism

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.

No one likes to be criticised, including myself. But it is through criticism that we know what to improve on.

I don't blame a rash first reaction to it, but it takes a big heart to accept it.

I'm still learning to accept criticism when faced with one. It takes courage and strength to accept and be thankful that someone actually cares about you, and wants you to be aware of your flaws.

The person who dares to criticise you, is the one who truely cares about you.

Can't wait for 2009 to end

I'm really sick of studying!! I know this is not the first time I'm complaining. I just want to complain again!

HAHA!!!

shiok!

i'm high on B.E.P. at the moment :P

I got my angel

Halo by Beyonce

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

Wise choice

I'm happy I chose to be a punctured tyre.

I'm happier at the junk yard with my other scrapped material friends.

:)

Back in SG

I've been back for 3 weeks, and I feel exhausted. Been working like a dog and now my body is telling me I'm tired.

Woke up with a sore throat today, now I'm feeling feverish. And I still need to work tomorrow.

I'm flying off back to Melbourne on Wednesday, maybe I'm feeling a little under the weather but I don't feel as excited. I only want to see him and spend time with him, cos I don't know when will be the next time I get to see him.

Tired. I'm just tired.

If you're wondering what I do. I work on a goat farm. I wake up at 7am, start work at 8am and finish at 6pm. I work EVERYDAY, 7 days a week. I'm only doing this for 3 weeks, imagine doing it your whole life. My dad has been doing just that.

Finally over

YES!!!! Exams are finally over. This round of exams have dragged over a way tooooo long period. It doesn't even feel like I'm having exams. I stayed home to study this time round, and I manage to watch like 4 HK drama series. Like the whole complete thing. One of it was even 40 episodes long. HAHA!

Went shopping today immediately after lunch, and the first time I used my new Chanel bag. HAPPY! Tomorrow we are going to the beach!!!! Long time since I've been to the beach. It's gonna be cam whoring day tmr. OMG! Too bad KC has to leave early, he can't stay to play water with us.

All of you who read this, PLEASE NOTE!!! I'm coming back next Saturday. That's 22nd NOV. Please don't say I didn't inform ok???? I always kena from you all, especially FAITH. I see the phone ring with her name, my hand start to shake. WAHAHAHA!!

Ok enough said. I'm tired. Update more soon!

I want to COMPLAIN!

Hi. I'm here to complain again. I think I've complain about this friend of mine before, she's this Indian lady from my course. She's like this middle-aged married woman with a screaming kid.

Anyways, she called me yesterday, again with that screaming kid just next to phone and I could barely make out what the hell she was trying to say. She was already very confused plus the screams from the kid. OMG. My ears alomst bled. I swear.

I haven't even got to the thing I want to complain about and there are so many other things to complain about the complain. GOSH. I don't know what her real motive is for calling me, but she was like trying to confuse me, and she could even ask me if I was confused by what she was saying. PLUS, she sounded all so freaky and scared, as if to scare me. PLUS, she told me she had to look at BLaw cos there was SO MUCH to go through, then she asked if I started to look at it. But I just replied her a flat out NO, and that I only JUST STARTED looking at stats so I couldn't help her with her question.

Seriously, why should I even help her. She had FULL MARKS for her stats test and she got like the highest for accounting test, PLUS she had like one of the best marks for her BLaw assignment. I still remember during the accounting test, she was like trying to freak out everyone before going in to the test hall.

I'm so sorry, but people like you don't need my help. I'd rather help others than you.

You suck!

Exams again.....

Enough said.

Pix from back in SG

Finally found some time to upload these pictures. Been wanting to do this since last week, now that I don't have to mood or energy to study, I'll do this then go to bed.





[caption id="attachment_140" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Rachel in her "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_141" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Dad"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_142" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="something i bought dad "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_143" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="ugly? but it has more than 600hp.."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_144" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Baby Chantal!"][/caption]

Goodnight!!

Back in Melbourne

I'm back in Melb and its gonna be exams in 2 weeks. Its quite hard to get back into "the zone" after being away for 2 weeks. But I've made an effort today, I did accounting today for almost 5hrs straight. Quite an achievement huh for a first day of revision. Now "cash flow statements" became my new best friend. Tomorrow, QM, hypothesis testing. BORING. But I'll do it, its only 2 weeks, I'm tuffer than that, I hope.

Well, I have KY and Hal to thank for today, cos of them I could stay in my room to study. Cos I felt quite shy to sit with them to watch tv. They were huggy and inseparable, so I better give them lovebirds their own space. I only came down to chill for awhile before cooking dinner. Ate, watched iron man, and showered immediately after the show was over.

Well, KC is in school and god knows what time he'll be home. Its a good thing he's handing in his thesis on monday. FINALLY. I hope he doesn't disappoint me next week. I've been tolerating for the whole year, and I think I've been really nice, only gg crazy once in awhile.

We'll see how things go...who knows what might happen.

Back home but still missing home.

I;m back in SG but I miss my Melbourne home, and my 2 house mates, and the weather, and the couch, and my bed. But it's nice to be back, nice to see my family, and my dogs, and my cats, and my goats. HAHA!

It's been 6 days since I came back, I started working today. Woke up at 5.30am to feed the baby goats with dad, then had breakfast, then milked the goats, then had a vegetarian lunch, then processed the milk till 6.30pm, then drove mum to the supermarket to stock up, got back home at 9pm, hopped on the treadmill for 10 mins, and I'm blogging now. Just to cool down before I take a shower. You must be wondering why I had to wake up so early. That's because ALL my malay workers went back to M'sia for Hari Raya yesterday, so I had to "start work" today.

I really want to upload some pics but I don't have my memory stick reader with me, so I can't transfer the pics over. Pics from the dinner to celebrate dad's birthday, and my doggies, and rachel in her "car".

Gonna be real busy this week, I don't have time to go out anymore. But I really need to get some stuff from the city, maybe tmr would be a good day.

Oh my hair is violet in colour. Its some sort of new "dyeing" technique cos they don't have that smelly ammonia in the mixture, and the colour will fade away to reveal your natural hair colour instead of change colour. So yea I look quite wierd.

I'm tired, gonna shower and sleep.

All the best to your future.

This is for Melody and Bren. Thanks to you Mel, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have known a good friend like Bren, and thanks to you again, that we won't have a very lasting friendship.

Bren, if you read this, all the best in what ever you do in the future. I hope you understand where I'm coming from too. This is only the beginning of a very long and hard journey for you. I chose not to be by her side anymore, I guess I'm not strong enough to put up with it anymore. What ever it is, I'm only an insignificant part of your lives.

All the best.

Hotpot Night!

Finally done with the dreaded accounting test, and we rewarded ourselves with hotpot!! Lili brought us to this place at Boxhill for hotpot. The food was not too bad, but I thought it was a little expensive. $23 per person, but there was lots of other food that we didn't get to eat cos we were too full to order any more. HAHA!





We ate ALOT! Like a huge load of food. There's this little trolley next to the table, it had 3 layers and it was filled with plates of food, and we finished all of it. AMAZING! I thought we wouldn't be able to finish, but amazingly AJ and Lili could eat quite alot too. HAHA! Eating queens! SO FUN having a girls' night out. We should do this more often!

Anyways, everyone is going to the Royal Melbourne Show without me! SADNESS. That's cos I'm gonna be in SG. ARGH! I've been wanting to go for the last couple of years, and when finally I have kakis to go with, I'm not here! WTH!!! Oh well, see how ler~~~

Tomorrow, marketing at Richmond!!! Going to get some good food! Fish maw, sea cucumber, fish, meat, and groceries!! GAWD I sound like some housewife, but Richmond has so much stuff!!! Should I bring a trolley???

See how ler~~~~~~

Almost done

I'm left with one more assignment and one more test, then comes preparation for exams. But first SG! I really can't wait to go shopping, I'm in a HUGE need for new clothes. I've been wearing the same clothes over and over, I really don't know what to wear anymore. Time for some spring/summer clothes. Hopefully I can get some from vivo city. I've made up my mind to go there on Friday after my haircut.

The funniest thing about coming back this time is that everyone is asking me if KC is coming along. I find it really wierd cos it's only a short mid-term break, too short a period for him to come back with me. Don't worry folks you'll get to see him one day. HAHAHA!!

He's coming back soon, better warm up his dinner.

~~~LATERS~~~

He just texted, he missed the bus. Gotta wait 20 mins for the next one. Poor him. He's really busy, he has to finish an assignment like this week and he's still fine-tuning his research results for his thesis, which he has yet to finish writing by the first week of Oct. But the good thing is he has only one exam, so that's quite a relief. I'm starting to worry about BLaw exam, I think I need to do a lot of reading when I'm back in SG, if not I won't have enough time to read.

KY so cute, she say she will miss me when i'm away. Yea i'll miss them too. They've become like family, quite nice to have a sister. I never had a sister, and always wanted one cos my brother always bullied me, and he still does till this very day. Quite fun, like can gossip together and go shopping together, and watch drama that KC don't watch. haha.

I took this photo a few days ago, I found it quite "sweet".

[caption id="attachment_116" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Backing me up"][/caption]

Kc's always there to back me up, and give me encouragement when I need it. Just like this picture. (The shoes were there, I didn't arrange them to look like this.)

Another Sunday...

I've been wanting to blog for the whole week but I really couldn't find the time. I've been busy with my business law assignment, which took me 3 long weeks to finish. I finally got it done yesterday so I could clean the house today.

I'm starting to feel a little unappreciated around the house. It's like I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, and yet I've never heard a sincere thank you before. I try to cook nice food, but yet I think that it doesn't suit their tastebuds. I really don't know what I can do better. I'm really giving it all my energy, I too have assignments and tests, but I still do it cos I don't want them to get bothered with the chores. Besides, if they don't do it to my liking I have to end up doing it myself. That's why i save the hassle to ask for help and do it myself. Maybe going back to SG for awhile will make them appreciate me more, cos I'm starting to feel like "Maria".

I have a week or so to do another 2 assignments before flying back. Although it's not due till after the break, but I want to finish it before I leave so I can relax in SG and not think about work for awhile. I really won't have much time in SG, cos the main purpose for going back is to work and celebrate dad's birthday. And I still need to do some much needed shopping. So yea it leaves me very little time for my friends. So yea, if I don't get to see some of you, my sincerest apologies.

I've been wanting to put up some food pics during the week, it's not a lot, just some.

[caption id="attachment_109" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Spring Lamb chops with veg"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_111" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="fish with leek, deep-fried cauliflower, sausage with baked beans"][/caption]

We had fish 'n' chips for dinner last night, but it wasn't a very pretty picture, and it wasn't really fish 'n' chips. It was disgusting, unappetizing fried fish. :( But I still think its nice.

I suddenly can't wait to finish studying, I really want to have a career, I want to start my life out there. Although many of you will say that it's not fun and it sucks. But I still want to go out there into the wilderness, and see the world. I hope KC will be beside me to share this experience with me, just like how I want to be with him.

OK, I think that's enough, before I get all emo again.

Stressful Stephy = Sleepless nights

I've been so stressed about work lately, its taken a toll on my sleep. The only time that I can relax and unwind. But work had to creep into my thoughts when I'm lying on my pillow. I tell myself to think of other stuff, to RELAX and LET GO.

Last week was terrible, this week was slightly better, but I can feel it building up again. I can't wait to hand in my assignments and sit for my test. (I'm actually in the middle of my assignment right now.) I thought being a Masters student should be more relaxed, but now I think otherwise. ALL the other students are soooo hardworking. I had 29.5/30 for my stats test, which I thought I did very well, but there were so many others that had full marks. I was above the average for my econs test, but half my tutorial class had higher marks than me. SERIOUSLY. I think they need to CHILL. I can't keep up man, I'll go INSANE.

Come to think of it, I really pitied Einstien. He had so much to think of, I wondered how he got to bed at night. Well, all my work will get rewarded soon. Cos' I'm going back HOME!!! Yes babes, you read it correctly. I'll be back in SG for a few days at the end of September, 24th to the 5th to be exact. Dad needs help, and it's his birthday, so I think he'll be more than willing to pay for my air ticket, which I was so lucky to still get a seat on SQ. No more Qantas for me, all those infamous headlines got me thinking twice.

I should get back to my assignment, abuse my brain further.